


Everything Changes (Except the Cool Cape)

by misura



Category: Hotel Transylvania (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Dracula and Jonathan do not zing. (Except when they sort of do.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [noisystar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noisystar/gifts).



> completely ignores the second movie

"Drac. Buddy," Wayne said, his tail wagging, and Dracula thought to himself: _see?_ this _is what happens when you let the situation slip out of your control_.

"No," he said. "So sorry. Would love to help - or that is what I would say if you hadn't asked me the same thing a hundred times already."

Wayne's tail stopped wagging. "Well, yes, but then I talked to Jonathan and he told me - "

Dracula snarled. Jonathan called it 'vamping out'. Jonathan was a very stupid, very silly young man who should learn to listen to his elders and refrain from offering an opinion on oh, just about everything until he'd reached a more respectable age. Say, two hundred or so.

Sadly, humans tended not to live that long. Ah well. A worry for another day.

"Busy. Right. Sorry." Wayne backed away slowly, his tail dusting the floor.

Dracula told himself that he had no reason whatsoever to feel ashamed of himself.

 

Mavis was leaving. Yesterday, she'd only been packing; today, they were already in the leaving stage.

_Young people. Always in such a hurry._

"But," Dracula tried, "Mavey-Wavey. My little blood orange. You can't just _leave_. You and Jonathan - you _zinged_." He'd tried the same line yesterday, and last week, and two months ago.

Well, there was nothing wrong with repeating yourself when you were right.

Mavis shook her head. "Um, no, we didn't. We might have zanged, or zonged, or zunged, but, I mean, come on, Dad. What happened to 'oh, but babyfangs, there are _so_ many eligible monsters out there? why don't you try meeting some of them?'."

"But - " _Once in a lifetime,_ Martha had written in her book, and it had been true for her.

"Look, dad, I'll write you every day, all right? Well, I'll e-mail. Or maybe just leave you a quick voicemail message. Or, hey, I know: we can be facebook friends!"

"I don't know what that is." Dracula hoped his tone conveyed his strong sentiment on all these newfangled _human_ technologies. "Facebook? E-mail? What is wrong with lettermail?"

Mavis hugged him, which was sweet. Then she spoilt it by saying, "Oh, _dad_."

 

Dracula supposed that it was inevitable that he'd run into Jonathan next. The bane of his existence. The pain in his backside. The ray of sunshine, bringing fire and destruction to all it touched.

"Drac! Hey!" If Wayne hadn't been one of his oldest friends (or, well, the distant descendant of one), Dracula might have considered turning him into a nice rug for the hotel lobby for having come up with that nickname. Was it really such an effort to pronounce three syllables? "Where have you been all morning? You missed a totally great sunrise!"

"Oh no. How sad. What tragedy." Dracula had let Jonathan talk him into staying up on the roof while the sun was rising once. That had been more than enough.

Jonathan grimaced. "Well, hey, no need to be such a grouch about it."

"Mavis is leaving."

Jonathan's expression brightened. _There goes_ that _plan._ Not that it had been much of a plan to begin with, but Dracula had still held out some hope. He probably should have known better. "I know. Hawaii. Sweet, right? I knew she and that kahuna I introduced to her would hit it off."

"You - " Well, _of course_ , that, too, would be Jonathan's fault. Everything else was, after all. "How could you introduce Mavis to someone who's living in Hawaii?"

"Dude," Jonathan said. "That's totally easy."

"Don't tell me. _Technology._ "

"We've _got_ to get you a cellphone." Jonathan frowned. "Wait. Do you even get reception here? Well, never mind, we'll figure that out later."

Dracula decided not to point out that the hotel had a perfectly good reception in the lobby.

"And, I mean, it's not like you're going to be some kind of lame-o, right?" Jonathan said. "I mean, Hawaii? Pft. Who _hasn't_ been to Hawaii?"

"You mean, aside from my daughter."

"Total tourist trap," Jonathan said. "Trust me."

Dracula frowned. "What does that mean: tourist trap?"

"Maybe we could try South America - or Australia. Do you like kangaroos?"

"What is this 'we' you keep talking about?" Dracula did not think there was a 'we' that involved him and Jonathan, unless it was a 'we' in the sense of 'we need to talk', or 'do we understand one another?'.

"Ah-ah." Jonathan wagged his finger in a very insulting manner. "I asked first."

"Do I like kangaroos. Sure I like kangaroos. Some of my best friends are kangaroos." Dracula had no idea what kangaroos were. Given that they apparently were to be found only in Australia, which was a place he had no intention of ever visiting, he was perfectly fine with that. "Great sense of humor."

Jonathan chuckled and slapped his shoulder. One year ago, he wouldn't have been even remotely tall enough for something like that, but being human and very annoying, he had grown.

Dracula could not say that he liked it. Jonathan as someone he could loom over had already been annoying enough. Now, he was dealing with a Jonathan who was of the perfect height to look deeply into his eyes when talking to him, or lean against him while watching a crazy human movie about crazy humans doing crazy human things.

"So what are you going to do with this place, anyway?" Jonathan asked.

Conveniently forgetting that there had been a question as yet left unanswered, Dracula noted. "I haven't decided yet. There's no rush, is there? I will have many years to decide."

"I was thinking: theme park!" Jonathan held up a hand. "Now, hear me out. It's perfect. And the best part is, you don't even need to be here."

"Where else would I be?" Dracula asked. _A theme park?_ "I live here! Mavis lives here!" True, she was leaving for Hawaii, but it wasn't as if she was never going to come back.

Give it a couple of months - a year, tops, and the glow of the new would have worn off.

"Well, okay, if that's how you want it to be, sure." Jonathan grinned and struck a pose. "I live here, too, then. Cool. I'm going to live in a huge castle, surrounded by a creepy forest."

"You forgot the land of the undead. And the lake. There's a monster."

"Glen, right?" Jonathan chuckled again. "Oh, wow. This is so cool, I may never want to leave."

"Glen lives in the basement." Dracula wondered why he even bothered. "And what do you mean: you may never want to leave? Don't I get a say in that? This is still my castle. I decide who comes and who leaves." Granted, that hadn't worked out as it should in the past.

Even so, past results were no reason to get discouraged about future possibilities.

"No way!" Jonathan said. Being a human, he did not have a pouty bat-face. What he did have was something even worse. "You're going to kick me out? But we totally zinged, man! We're, like, zing-meisters. Plus, we could be a totally kick-ass band."

"I'm not - " Dracula tried to look away. "I'm not kicking you out _right now_. It's just something that might happen. One day. In the distant future. That's all I meant."

"Ha!" Jonathan grinned. "Totally got you! No way you're getting rid of me."

Dracula sighed. _Humans!_ He refused to feel relieved.

"Oh, and by the way, I went to this doctor and he told me I'm totally healthy, so if you want to suck some of my blood, you totally can," Jonathan went on. "It's probably going to taste awesome."

Dracula closed his eyes and counted to ten little bats, flying through the night. Slowly. Twice.

"Or not," Jonathan said. "Not is cool, too. I'm just saying, I'm up for it. I'm willing to put in whatever it takes to make this relationship work."

"We are not in a relationship." There had been no zing. There had been panic, and confusion, and more panic. There had been chaos and ruin and nigh-averted disaster. "You - I - "

"We zinged!" Jonathan said. "We're going to be partners in awesomeness. Bat-man and human. We'll solve crimes together. Like, I'll be walking straight into the place where all the bad guys are, and they'll be all like: 'ha, you think you can take us down all by yourself?', and then _you_ pop up out of thin air and go - "

Dracula snarled.

Jonathan beamed at him. "Exactly!"

 

"Well, when there's a zing, there's a zing," Mavis said. "Look, this is Moana. Isn't she cute?"

Dracula stared at the ... cell phone thing that had been pressed into his hands. "This image is moving."

"Duh," said Mavis. "Should I take my own coffin? Jonathan says that it's more fun to sleep on people's couches, because you can find all sorts of cool things in them, but I'm really not sure."

"You really think there was a zing?"

"Not was," Mavis said. "Is. It's totally obvious. And kind of cute, don't get me wrong. I mean, I know you loved Mom, and it's not like I'm crazy at the idea that you're going to replace her or something, but, I mean, it's not as if I want you to be lonely for the rest of your life. I mean, that's a long time. Um, wow. That was a lot of 'I mean's in a row."

Dracula sighed. "Nobody could ever replace your mother. Ever. Believe me. Jonathan - he just annoys me. He never listens to anything I say. He makes this face, like so, and it makes me want to bite him. I haven't bitten a human in over two centuries!"

Mavis grinned. "And yet you wouldn't want him to leave, right?"

"He's a lunatic," Dracula complained. "He would get into all sorts of trouble. That is not zing. That is just ... being worried. Concerned. For all those other people out there who might get hurt because of this crazy, crazy human running wild."

"Dad." Mavis kissed his cheek. "It's cool. I get it."

 

"Well, I'll be going then," Wayne said. "Thanks."

"I'm very sorry," Dracula said. "Any other time, I would have been happy to help. It is just a difficult time right now. Anyway, I am sure that everything will be fine. Kids just need a bit of space sometimes."

"So do parents. Anyway, I'll be seeing you in two days." Wayne winked. "I'll get you some doritos. Who knows, it might even be fun."

"What."

"Really, I think it's just such a great idea," Wayne continued. "You and Jonathan, setting up this kind of detective slash trouble shooting agency. Even better than the hotel and, let's face it, that whole thing was kind of getting old. Time to join the twentieth century, right?"


End file.
